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<span style="display:none">0 q% F) Y! M+ |, p: C</span><font size="4"><font color="purple">七绝 赠无痕<font class="jammer">$ N, [/ z7 e- Z& N. }</font><br>
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<font size="4"><font color="purple">无痕未动已惊雷，<font class="jammer">1 d9 ?% s+ P% V</font><br>
玉笔轻挥马上追。<font class="jammer">4 b; O" f3 G7 g v% n) k, z</font><br>
待月楼旁谁敢问，<font class="jammer">) V2 g+ @0 m! |7 x1 T</font><br>
闲抛几阕占花魁。</font></font><font class="jammer">2 Q$ r8 a* q6 i9 {: ?% e</font><br>
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<span style="display:none">* u0 q$ ~' Y ]0 [</span><font size="4"><font color="purple"> <br>
<span style="display:none">! H- p# t5 y7 M</span>五绝 快手无痕（新韵）<font class="jammer">) L4 O8 H+ N( k8 ~</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="purple">一气成十阕，千金换秘诀。</font></font><font class="jammer">% i+ W9 \/ {: H</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="purple">词坛称快手，此处觅君帖。</font></font><font class="jammer">! u3 H1 Z$ v# {+ A& ]! y4 {</font><br>
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:victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>
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晨昏不辨闲屏前， <font class="jammer"># J/ ^0 [# ~2 l7 ?# [8 ^' S</font><br>
静极思动向山峦； <br>
<span style="display:none">: d! q& ~8 m% f. @' a6 `</span> 驱车浮船掠风景， <font class="jammer">( W/ P+ g7 l. l) ?</font><br>
荷包执杖临峰巅。 <font class="jammer">- O# T, H6 Q" W$ w$ F: Y4 J9 P</font><br>
湘山多娇逶迤远， <font class="jammer">2 A6 l9 ~: Q( k& W( C% g' F1 A</font><br>
酉水沉静墨玉颜； <br>
<span style="display:none">) h {' }* T7 G' ?! E: X5 w7 Q. @</span> 独钟晚秋千岳彩， <br>
<span style="display:none">" }" J- J7 c: N) Q* f( f</span> 午后斜照虹如烟。<font class="jammer">% P% i9 N% w$ Q S</font><br>
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<span style="display:none">* n, O* g; b( Z</span>请教这是七律吗? <font class="jammer">9 q _& E, k4 ?- U3 }. I</font><br>
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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">勤农 发表于 2012-1-6 18:44</font> <img id="aimg_F4xiG" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font><font class="jammer">7 u$ h: Z+ [+ w</font><br>
晨昏不辨闲屏前， <br>
<span style="display:none"> N0 h2 w [* T& a</span> 静极思动向山峦； <br>
<span style="display:none">5 h1 F! n a5 b( O3 z' y, J</span> 驱车浮船掠风景， </blockquote></div><br>
<span style="display:none">' Y4 L2 z9 T5 d: Q# `6 p1 ]# M. y</span><font color="Purple">从其平仄看，这不能作七律。</font>:)</td></tr></tbody></table>
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形式上是七律，平仄不太合吧？<br>
<span style="display:none">& R- k9 Q7 D3 C( G5 L</span>兄之首句是平起平收吧？那么，应该是乙句式，第二句应该就是丁句式了吧？<br>
<span style="display:none">( n. E8 d, o% w7 u7 [; c</span>其平仄应为 仄仄平平仄仄平。<font class="jammer">' G5 S: {' }0 I. {$ O6 g</font><br>
全部句式当为 乙丁甲乙丙丁甲乙，兄自己看看，可还合律？<font class="jammer"># v) K4 `1 L0 X</font><br>
说的不对之处，兄莫怪为好哦。</td></tr></tbody></table>
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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">逍遥舸 发表于 2012-1-7 00:30</font> <img id="aimg_dj7j8" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font><font class="jammer">$ \& @+ M$ D/ L2 n</font><br>
形式上是七律，平仄不太合吧？<font class="jammer">% Y( B- {! h# d+ @ T</font><br>
兄之首句是平起平收吧？那么，应该是乙句式，第二句应该就是丁句式了吧？<font class="jammer">3 u+ a3 ^3 j* n+ C. i- b9 M" s</font><br>
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<span style="display:none">, j1 ]* w' k U% L</span>这不是我写的，是另一个论坛里的一位“老前辈”写的，我说不合律不能当七律，他偏冠七律 </td></tr></tbody></table>
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<i class="pstatus"> 本帖最后由 潜龙 于 2012-1-7 11:25 编辑 </i><br>
<span style="display:none">! r# u0 W, e" g! {: H: o0 c</span><font class="jammer">. j7 `- d7 u! Q# j8 [) L) [</font><br>
<font color="blue">我把这诗的古今平仄标于后，再把正确的格律标于旁，就可明白了。</font><font class="jammer">1 v: e, G" s' ^0 c</font><br>
<font size="4"> <font color="purple">诗及平仄 </font><font color="red">正确格律</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">& K+ q) g8 K" _</span><font size="4"><font color="purple"> <font color="blue">晨昏不辨闲屏前</font>，（<font color="red">平平仄仄仄平平</font>，） <font class="jammer">7 c* j, o( k5 L7 {2 T# |</font><br>
古四声：平平通仄通通平 闲出律，末三字成三连平。</font></font><font class="jammer">& R" p# k6 ?+ s0 t</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="purple">今四声：平平通仄平通平 闲出律，末三字成三连平。 </font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">$ y% N2 m) v/ o" v) Y/ O; c! N</span><font size="4"><font color="purple"> <font color="blue">静极思动向山峦</font>；（<font color="red">仄仄平平仄仄平</font>。）</font></font><font class="jammer">6 K$ M0 d5 e, z0 ^1 S</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="purple">古四声：仄仄通仄仄平平 动、山出律。</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">8 q: Y; R5 ~9 o</span><font size="4"><font color="purple">今四声：仄平平仄仄平平 动、山出律。</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">3 ^- C6 ?) i3 {' [; r) v+ R2 l! @9 c" D</span><font size="4"><font color="purple"> <font color="blue">驱车浮船掠风景</font>， （<font color="red">仄仄平平平仄仄</font>，）</font></font> |
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发表于 2019-4-7 16:07:58