沁园春 夜

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<i class="pstatus"> 本帖最后由 爱情的刹割？ 于 2011-11-27 17:01 编辑 </i><font class="jammer">' A% t5 ^0 x! R, C8 D</font><br>
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&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;入秋避晴，幕容初晓，弯月如钩。既秋冬之夜，寒风刺骨，孤霜劈甲，柔雪盖头。舞步三丘，踏水两涧，赤胆孤心断意忧。迎破庙、引火烛问酒，一醉方休。<font class="jammer"># _( Q&nbsp;&nbsp;A# n" |&amp; v. w</font><br>
&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;月君何否知愁，诉心语、酒心可解秋。懈千丝万缕，方能自予，离踪却影，才可脱囚。一杆笔头，二尺词曲，碾破红尘过自游。舟笔现、渡千秋万世，更显风流。<font class="jammer">0 L: ]! N) }. ~4 Z) X5 b" o7 s</font><br>
&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;请师兄指正，谢谢！！<br>
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:victory::victory::victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>


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欣赏了。</td></tr></tbody></table>


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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">土家人 发表于 2011-11-27 18:26</font> <img id="aimg_Dko22" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font></blockquote></div><br>
<span style="display:none">8 K' F5 ~9 B# {6 ]0 |6 X</span>:):)</td></tr></tbody></table>


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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">秀山西街 发表于 2011-11-27 18:32</font> <img id="aimg_Go9ZB" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font><br>
<span style="display:none">4 y+ R% I. t9 K5 l1 ]# P</span>欣赏了。</blockquote></div><br>
<span style="display:none">9 x. j7 v" U' _1 u# p&nbsp;&nbsp;C</span>:):)</td></tr></tbody></table>


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:victory::victory::victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>


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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">幽兰空谷 发表于 2011-11-27 19:59</font> <img id="aimg_NJ7x6" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font></blockquote></div><font class="jammer">&amp; D9 N: v) t7 Y' h</font><br>
:):)</td></tr></tbody></table>


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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">爱情的刹割？ 发表于 2011-11-27 20:10</font> <img id="aimg_PBTFn" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font></blockquote></div><font class="jammer">6 t3 N# N( c8 }1 Q8 [</font><br>
:handshake:victory::victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>


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<div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">幽兰空谷 发表于 2011-11-28 09:13</font> <img id="aimg_Xp1B9" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" file="static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font></blockquote></div><br>
<span style="display:none">, a" J# @' f( J9 J# a" F8 u8 j</span>:handshake:handshake</td></tr></tbody></table>


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沁园春【定格】（《康熙词谱》1107页）<br>
<span style="display:none"># v/ A% f) k5 j, }; l" C</span>中中平平，中中中中，中中中平（韵）。仄『中平中仄，中平中仄；中平中仄，中仄平平（韵）』。中仄平平，中平中仄，中仄平平中仄平（韵）。平平仄，仄中平中仄，中仄平平（韵）。 <font class="jammer">1 z( O+ v1 ~: C$ m( a1 r0 k, x' A3 o</font><br>
平平（增韵）中仄平平（韵），中中仄中平中仄平（韵）。仄『中平中仄，中平中仄；中平中仄，中仄平平（韵）』。中仄平平，中平中仄，中仄平平中仄平（韵）。中中仄，仄中平中仄，中仄平平（韵）。<br>
<span style="display:none"># k3 Q. `/ O- `/ v</span>入秋避晴，幕容初晓，弯月如钩。既秋冬之夜，寒风刺骨，孤霜劈甲，柔雪‘盖’头。舞步三丘，踏‘水’两涧，赤胆孤心断意忧。迎‘破’庙、引火‘烛’问酒，一醉方休。<font class="jammer">, C5 s3 t# G/ ^7 U6 i( o</font><br>
‘月’君何否知愁，诉心语、酒心可解秋。懈千丝万缕，方能自予，离踪却影，才可‘脱’囚。一杆‘笔’头，二‘尺’词曲，碾破红尘过自游。舟笔现、渡千秋万世，更显风流。<br>
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进步很大，加点引号者，格律有待斟酌。按词林正韵！<br>
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小兄弟进步大:):victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>


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谢谢。还想问师兄，括号里面的是什么意思啊。？<font class="jammer">+ n- P# L5 R2 R/ D&amp; c</font><br>
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改称这样可好？<font class="jammer">5 b/ n3 n: J0 x! _* \. h</font><br>
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