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<i class="pstatus"> 本帖最后由 勤农 于 2011-11-10 15:01 编辑 </i><br>
<span style="display:none">0 W' {) p2 ~ x) e. ^: e9 r* T" E8 m</span><br>
<span style="display:none">' L' O/ @$ ^1 M</span><font size="6">小舟蓑笠无处觅,</font><font class="jammer">" g$ a8 l" {$ b</font><br>
<font size="6">岸上钓者伞底栖.</font><br>
<span style="display:none">( |8 u% w1 Z; q7 ?* ]$ w* S1 y8 ^</span><font size="6">雨打浮标频频动,</font><br>
<span style="display:none">. _6 u0 h( Y: ^</span><font size="6">恰似鱼儿来探钩.</font><font class="jammer">3 Y: x! D# p/ F+ _, h: g</font><br>
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:victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>
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:victory:</td></tr></tbody></table>
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<i class="pstatus"> 本帖最后由 潜龙 于 2011-11-9 15:34 编辑 </i><font class="jammer">: s X. O% w+ H, ?) c: W I</font><br>
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<span style="display:none">! D; x1 y# ] @8 O</span><font face="黑体"><font size="4">我也是边写边学，边学边写。</font></font><font class="jammer">; x0 u% x/ O8 M+ {2 A0 r</font><br>
<font face="黑体"><font size="4">从兄弟诗中起句看，应按下面的格律进行调</font></font><font class="jammer">7 W$ v7 Y/ [. y+ N& P+ w</font><br>
<font face="黑体"><font size="4">整才合七绝之道。</font></font><font class="jammer">1 W5 n. c: [# z3 L% ^</font><br>
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<span style="display:none">& }+ W6 o. r& L, C& S5 L</span><font face="黑体"><font size="4"><font color="darkred">中平中仄平平仄，中仄平平仄仄</font><font color="blue">平</font>。（<font color="blue">韵</font>）</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">/ x: W+ f4 L" G</span><font face="黑体"><font size="4"><font color="darkred">中仄中平平仄仄，中平中仄仄平</font><font color="blue">平</font>。（<font color="blue">韵</font>）</font></font><br>
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<span style="display:none">6 J4 t+ e0 k5 Z0 W</span><font face="黑体"><font size="3">注<font face="仿宋">：“中”可平可仄，其余平仄处不可改，平处仄，</font></font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">( @9 ~/ v' q- C: v3 E+ Z</span><font face="黑体"><font size="3">仄处平，均为出律。莫怪莫怪，共同进步。</font></font><font class="jammer">5 M; [: ?! u/ ]</font><br>
<font face="黑体"><font size="3">应是“笠”字吧。</font></font><br>
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意境到了</td></tr></tbody></table>
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<i class="pstatus"> 本帖最后由 勤农 于 2011-11-9 17:38 编辑 </i><br>
<span style="display:none">% _, y" ~ X2 M* k% V</span><div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">潜龙 发表于 2011-11-9 15:29</font> <img id="aimg_WzYbW" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" src="http://www.cqxszx.net/static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font><font class="jammer">3 B: U. P" v g' X</font><br>
我也是边写边学，边学边写。<br>
<span style="display:none">; P* I: }6 o! c) a</span>从兄弟诗中起句看，应按下面的格律进行调<font class="jammer">: U5 f% }) e4 a$ x1 q M2 h</font><br>
整才合七绝之道。</blockquote></div><br>
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<span style="display:none">7 E) Z/ R+ M! [</span>多谢赐教,等我斟酌哈了再改,看来整律诗不但普通话要学得好,文字功底也得要深</td></tr></tbody></table>
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<i class="pstatus"> 本帖最后由 潜龙 于 2011-11-10 08:40 编辑 </i><br>
<span style="display:none">3 }+ L- S5 [- q6 _</span><div class="quote"><blockquote><font size="2"><font color="#999999">勤农 发表于 2011-11-9 17:36</font> <img id="aimg_p55TS" onclick="zoom(this, this.src, 0, 0, 0)" class="zoom" src="http://www.cqxszx.net/static/image/common/back.gif" onmouseover="img_onmouseoverfunc(this)" lazyloadthumb="1" border="0" alt=""></font><br>
<span style="display:none">, [* K' j) O: s$ n% \3 g" ^</span>多谢赐教,等我斟酌哈了再改,看来整律诗不但普通话要学得好,文字功底也得要深</blockquote></div><br>
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<font size="4">我帮兄弟的诗改动一下，不怪吧。</font><font class="jammer">+ i" a5 Q ]+ [( ]+ e</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="darkred">七绝 雨钓（新韵）</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">$ p+ w8 P" R0 W: B7 z! _</span><font size="4"><font color="darkred">小舟蓑笠何须觅，大</font></font><font color="darkred"><font size="4">伞遮天立岸头。<br>
<span style="display:none">( {& ^# C0 ]* X8 Q</span>雨打浮标频颤动，</font><font size="4">心疑鱼闹又探钩。</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">0 b7 }7 X. i. k$ I u* S4 v2 M</span><br>
<span style="display:none">. q. e1 z+ h+ J' m# A' P Q</span><font size="4"><font color="black">还有一改法就是用另一种格律，即：</font></font><font class="jammer">6 [% w. Q! L5 B* z$ a8 [7 m5 |</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="#000000">中仄中平平仄仄，中平中仄仄平平。</font></font><font class="jammer">2 S: d1 V+ m) `: Q1 p</font><br>
<font size="4"><font color="#000000">中平中仄平平仄，中仄平平仄仄平。</font></font><br>
<span style="display:none">$ s6 ]9 m) l# N e</span><br>
<span style="display:none">1 R8 ~9 ]2 F5 M$ S, ?</span><font size="4"><font color="#8b0000">七绝 雨钓（新韵）<br>
<span style="display:none">; b1 X" D( `( }6 b: q0 B* N* t</span>蓑笠小舟无处觅，岸边大</font></font><font color="#8b0000"><font size="4">伞乐无忧。<br>
<span style="display:none">( w5 a/ [- v6 X; d" ]: v3 x2 c</span>浮标雨打频频动，</font><font size="4">疑是鱼儿又诈钩。</font></font><br>
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发表于 2019-4-7 16:07:58